census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
