What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
