We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
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