if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize