we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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