Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
