Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
