Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
