tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
