I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
