What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
