no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
