He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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