so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
