Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

He wasn't the only one with a full load.

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(618): View more from Illinois

In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.

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(559): View more from California

She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?

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(423): View more from Tennessee

...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over

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(843): View more from South Carolina

He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy

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(614): View more from Ohio

Hey Girl, we got home safe!

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I know, I drove you

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