Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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