we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
