Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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