My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
