Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
