so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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