Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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