i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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