His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
