he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
