Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
