i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
