So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
