I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
