she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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