I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
