WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
worst night to have a conscience
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize