I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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