Cold hands, warm shart.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
