I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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