Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
