Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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