ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
