so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
