I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
