worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
