fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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