i barfeds in our rink
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
