so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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