Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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