you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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