Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize