there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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