A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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