Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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