I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
