Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
