I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
