I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
