apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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