I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
