My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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