Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
