your thong is hanging out like whoa
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Randomize
