? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
