All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
